A series of ups and downs, but you are always here with me.
We still know how to make the best of everything.
The wishes were
You’d never get sick
You’d get rid of cancer
because your personality alone
would kick it’s ass with
your no bullshit attitude.
You’d be around for a very long time
mothering me with your tough love and
being a friend to me with your laughs
and “let it go’s” and “You deserve better”.
These wishes didn’t come true and life doesn’t feel the same without you already.
Thank you for loving my father, loving me,
loving my children with your whole heart
& giving me another brother.
::I love you and I miss you always::
I want to scream at you about how unfair things are. I want to throw myself into the pits of sadness and not get out of bed for days. I want to go out to the middle of no where and scream scream scream until I have no voice left and I can come home and be quiet and no one will ask me to talk, or how I feel, or why I do what I do. I want to be voiceless because I’m afraid of what I’ll say right now. How I might hurt those I love with my words, or my thoughts, or because I am in fact pissed at them also. I want to say to some “How dare you take me for granted, I loved you!”. Or how I want to ask others “What the fuck are you doing to yourself?!” Or how to some I just want to say “I love you” and lay in bed with them for hours because someday they might not be here. Someday might be sooner than later.
And life, while I’m angry at you…. I still think you are amazing and so fucking heart breaking.
And life, please don’t make me do this. Please. I can’t do it.
Thank you for….
Self truths. Dancing. Chocolate cake. Quick work day. More dancing. Bone earings. Wedge shoes. Red ring. Sass. Laughs. Missing. Tears. Missing. Moments. Peace. Steak and Shrimp dinner. School photo clothing shopping. Talks. Letting go. Silly faces.
Looking damn good doing it all.